“Inside every child is an ‘emotional tank’
waiting to be filled with love. When a child really feels loved, he
will develop normally, but when the love tank is empty, the child will
misbehave. Much of the misbehavior of children is motivated by the
cravings of an empty ‘love tank.’” -Gary ChapmanSince Renzo turned 6 recently, I've noticed quite a bit of change in his behavior, in a very positive way. I mentioned he was a little confused and distracted for the past half a year, and based on my research it might be related to growth spurt around the age of 5.5, when some kids start to have stronger self awareness and develop this trace of rebellion in them.
At the same time, I also did some self-reflection and realized what Gary Chapman mentioned here, about filling up the kid's emotional love tank, is so important! With a lot of changes at work place this year and a rather aged body, I often couldn't commit for enough quality bonding time with the kids at home. Throughout this year, Renzo has developed strong interest in building Gundam models and often for the whole weekends, as long as we do not have plans for outdoor activities, Renzo is seen hiding in his room for hours, building Gundams with his daddy. They talk in the funniest way ever but most of the time, I could barely understand their topics. I'm not complaining at all and indeed I'm really grateful that Daddy Chan is bonding so well with Renzo. Believe it or not, nowadays he seldom raises his voice and Renzo reacts promptly to his instructions. I just wish I could be more engaged with Renzo's daily activities and I told myself, there must be something Renzo could enjoy doing together with mummy, besides rolling on the floor and watching cartoons or running around the playground together.
The first challenge I took on was baking as Renzo requested to learn how to bake a heart shaped cake. He was jumping for joys when I cut out a smaller heart shaped sponge cheese cake for him to decorate. But boys being boys, I can't expect him to spend his weekends in the kitchen with me. So I was determined to find out something of his interest instead and drawing tops the list immediately since that's my favorite hobby since young too.
It's really rewarding to see Renzo feasted his eyes on this wedding portrait sketches I drew recently. And when I explained to him about how to create different kind of effects with different types of sketch pencils, I could see the sparkles in his eyes!
Another new skill I am trying to pick up in order to have better bonding with Renzo, is PIANO!!
Yes that sounds totally insane! I remember one of the reasons we stopped sending Renzo for piano lessons at Yamaha, was because of the fact that one parent is required to sit in for the lesson with kids below 6. And I found that a rather torturous experience as both Daddy Chan and I have no interest nor talent in music. Never in my life ever have I thought about learning music as it's simply not my forte. I mentioned in a post before that once Renzo completes his Grade 1 prep test, we will let him make the call on whether he would like to continue with his piano lessons. And when I read the positive and encouraging comments from the examiner about his performance during the prep test back in September, I had a feeling that he's capable of playing it well but just need a little push as it's not really something he's extremely interested in. So I was secretly hoping that Renzo might put in more efforts in practicing if I am doing that with him together.
I went ahead with my self learning journey by following an online piano tutor. After getting familiarized with the basics, I then requested Renzo to be my teacher and since then, I joined him for every practice session. There's no more "practice daily for 15 minutes" rule, instead, we have this "musical goal" to achieve each time we both sit in front of the piano together, which is to make sure he teaches me well enough till we both can play the same song, four hands together on piano. It's often a challenge for us both, but Renzo has definitely gained confidence through his teaching experience. Sometimes this impatient teacher could leave the mummy practicing alone while he takes a short break on the sofa.
I must say it really requires a lot of efforts to pick up a new skill at this age though as an adult, I have highly developed logical and critical thinking skills as compared to kids, but learning piano is not just about being able to absorb complex concepts, it's about practice, practice and practice too! To play this simple and easy piece of my favorite Pachelbel's Canon in D, I probably practiced daily for 15 straight days and sometimes I spent a quick 30 minutes and on days when I do not have other agenda, I can practice up to 6 hours. Yes I am serious, it's that difficult for a rookie like me. Even Renzo "allocates" time for me to use his piano and he once commented, "You are still not able to get it right? But you are not giving up on your Canon in D right?!"..
By learning piano together with Renzo, now I totally get to understand his struggles because I too have difficulties getting my right and left hand synchronize, and I too have to pause for seconds or even minutes to figure out what those "tadpoles" on the music sheet represents, and of course, I too have wished the keys on the piano are clearly labeled with alphabets just like my computer keyboard.
So yes it's more work than telling Renzo to practice for 15 minutes a day, but in the end, this will be much easier than the agony of forcing him to adhere to the mandatory 15 minutes of meager, unmotivated efforts. After all, children might close their ears to advice but open their eyes to example! Learning is more fun and enjoyable when we get to do it together!
