smooth sailing into primary school life

The evening before Renzo's first day of primary school, my facebook news feed had a sudden influx of status updates, with doubts and excitements from my friends whose kids are also starting Primary School in 2016. So needless to say, the following morning, I started to see loads of pictures, of my friends' P1 kids in brand new uniforms and school bags, and of course, Renzo being one of them! In order to help him keep a distinct memory of his Primary 1 days, I feel the need to pen down what has happened in the past 3 days.

If you ask me to describe his first 3 days in Primary 1 in one word, I would say, smooth-sailing! (uh oh not "chaotic" or "madness" like many would expect)..

So parents yes I know it's a huge milestone, I know it's a big change in routine but nope, it's just another day and our kids will all be fine!

I am not sure if it's because MOE and schools worked really hard to help the P1 kids shed first day jitters, or Daddy Chan and Renzo Chan's slow-but-steady personality has rubbed off onto me well enough in the past 6 years, I did not really have too much emotions (except for the split second I let go Renzo's little hand and kissed him goodbye before he boarded the school bus), and I even suggested to Daddy Chan that maybe we should not even join the crowd and peep at school on the very first day. Well, we did in the end and honestly, I don't think it makes much difference to Renzo, or, maybe it did, at least he knows he's truly loved by his parents. hahaha.. But honestly I am glad that his school only allowed parents to enter on Day 1, even if they let us in for another 2 more days, 2 more weeks, or even 2 more months, it has to come to a point that the kids need to be on their own so I rather it comes sooner than later, so, 1 day is more than enough!

Anyway so we put Renzo on his school bus from Day 1 so that he doesn't need to readjust his routine, of course we followed him to school by public bus and wow I am so glad we decided to let him take school bus, the Monday morning + first day of school crowd is pretty amazing despite us staying 5 bus stations away from the school, and having 4 direct buses there.

Renzo didn't have any problem waking up early because for the past 2+ years, he's been waking up at 630am daily with his brother, so that Daddy could send them both to childcare before 7am and get ready for work on time after that. And when most other kids were having a 1.5 months of school holiday break during last Nov - Dec, Renzo continued to attend his childcare daily till December 23rd. So there's no such thing as post holiday blues. And in fact on the first day of school, he woke up at 6:00am although I've set my alarm at 6:15am. 

Renzo didn't forget to bring anything to school, neither did he forget to bring anything back home. We definitely do not need to visit the "Lost and Found office", at least not after the first 3 days of school.

He bought himself proper meals during his 45 minutes of recess with the help of his buddy, a P5 boy whose name was not being asked by Renzo on day 1, but being forgotten by Renzo on Day 2 after Renzo carefully checked his name tag on his uniform. We didn't stay to check out what he bought at canteen and how long he took to queue, or how fast he finished his food. But I was really glad that he remembered what I've told him before school started. He didn't  buy any snacks or drinks though he said he's aware of what's offered at the snacks stall. He chose 80 cents fish ball noodle over the 1 dollar bowl so he could get back more than 1 dollar of change from the auntie. Yes that's exactly what he told us! And he bought the exact same thing on 2nd day of school, requested fork instead of chopsticks from the stall auntie, that solved my puzzle about whether he's able to handle chopsticks as he seldom uses that at home. On the 3rd day, I packed a small swissroll and a banana for him and he ended up gulping down those during recess, and didn't bother to queue up for food at all. So after 3 days he decided to pack his lunch instead, because the recess time will be reduced to the normal 30 minutes from Day 4 onwards. And he found the queues at the canteen too long so, home cooked is the best! The only sad news is that mummy will then need to wake up earlier to prepare food for him, well, it all comes in a package when we signed up for parenthood so, I will just embrace the new routine!

Day 1, I picked Renzo up from his classroom myself because bus operator do not provide service due to change in school's dismissal time. Day 2, helper waited for him at Gate E, again there's no school bus service home because school dismissed P1 kids 30 minutes earlier, just like Day 1. And Day 3, Renzo queued at foyer for school bus home, helper picked him up at the drop off point, yay finally the dismissal time gets back to normal! And can I say it's a great relief finally because that's the one and only one thing I've ever worried about, what if he got confused about the different arrangements on 3 different days??!!

After school, he went for his piano lesson on Day 1 and came back home together with his brother because the music school is in the same building where their childcare locates. And the next 2 days, he spent the whole afternoon at home with helper. The routine is pretty simple, have a late lunch together with helper; answer a set of questions I give to him about his day in school; draw a picture of his choice; read or play; join Rynus with their preschool routine which includes dinner, shower and TV time till daddy and mummy are home. With the guidance of the time table and of course, supervision from our helper, he completed all those "assigned tasks" and truly enjoyed and adapted to this new lifestyle of his. And on Day 3, our hardworking helper decided to give him a Maths activity book to try out (yes she's really on the ball and I must give her full marks for carrying out her afternoon duty of being Renzo's guardian and coach so well). Renzo voluntarily completed 3 pages without making any fuss, well, just as expected. Obviously if it's a Chinese activity book, it would have been a whole different story!

Day 1

 

Day 2

 

Day 3

 

Family time at night were filled with lots of talks about his school life, and of course reminders about what to do, and what not. I do feel time passed too fast these few nights as there were just too much to talk about, woes of full time working parents - never enough time with kids!!

So there were only 2 small incidents happened during his first 3 days of school, which were not exactly bad but just, unexpected. One being that his neighbor spilled water on his student handbook so he had to leave it at school to dry. Well no biggie I know but my poor son will be the only one holding onto a crumbled handbook throughout the entire year. Luckily he's not bothered by that and even reminded me that his friend ACCIDENTALLY did it so it's nobody's fault.

Another incident bothered me a little bit more. Did I ever mention we have a chat group set up for Renzo's class after we met other parents during school orientation? Yes thanks to the diligent parents who volunteered to do that and it's pretty good to have contacts of other parents before school even starts. The parents there are really helpful and the topics are very relevant. But when we were told by some of them that we need to pack extra stuff out of the provided list on day 2, I verified with Renzo, he said he didn't remember teacher mentioning anything on that. But just to play safe, we decided to go with the flow and packed all the extra files and books, at the end of day 2, poor Renzo carried all of them back as teacher didn't collect them, apparently he did collected those stuff we packed which appeared on the list of thing to bring. That didn't make me feel good at all after pondering a whole day about whether Renzo was day dreaming in class and missed out those important points highlighted by teacher. So, lesson learned, trust my kid, trust anything black&white, and do not over react!

Gosh I can't believe I have this much to mention but actually it's been only 3 days and there's still a long way to go for his 6 years of journey in Primary School.

Now you can tell how overwhelmed Renzo, and indeed every other P1 kid would have felt about primary school life so far. So do not overfeed your kid with too much information, take it slow and do it one step at a time because kids are still innocent and simple minded at this age, and there's no way they could handle so many things well all at one go! So I am all prepared that once Renzo is put on "auto-pilot" mode from Day 4 as there will be no buddy system anymore, he might be giving us some "surprises" every now and then, but for now, I must say Renzo doesn't seem to have suffered any allergic reaction to Primary School, and we are immensely proud of our little man for handling his first 3 days so well in school!

less than 15 days to Primary school

TIME FLIES!!!

In just less than 15 days, Renzo is going to kiss goodbye the childcare center he's been attending daily from 7am to 7pm (well to 5:30pm for his case), and enter the next stage of his life, Primary School!!

It's a bitter sweet moment to witness Renzo putting on his graduation gown and Mortar board cap, as I told him, this is the only time in life when he could put them on without working really hard, LOL. We do feel excited for him to move on to his official, compulsory education in school but, the preschool years are just too good and how we wish he could be surrounded with such great friends, teachers and environment all his life!!

Anyway so, how's Renzo's preparation for Primary School?

Well, looking at my checklist:
- School bus arrangement (nope I am not worried that he doesn't know his way home)

We've paid deposit on his orientation day, but the vendor has not contacted us so far to confirm timing. I would probably give them a call if I do not hear from them by the 28th.
- Lunchbox / Water bottle (nope I am not worried that he doesn't know how to feed himself well)
I am cutting myself some slack here as for the 1st week of school, we plan to let him buy his own food, as there will be buddy system arranged and another kid from upper primary is supposed to bring him around. So yes I still need to work on lunchbox ideas, and probably buying 1 more lunchbox as those we have at home, are either too big, or too small, or doesn't come with a divider inside. As for water bottle, he can use his current one but it's a little too kiddish, so let's buy another one for him following his form teacher's advice, small and light, as water coolers are everywhere in the school.
- Wallet (nope I am not worried that he doesn't know how to manage his finances)

He received one from his friend's birthday, it will work but it doesn't work the best. We can take our time to source for better one with a separate compartment for coins.
- Labeling (nope I am not worried that he doesn't know how take care of his own belongings)

Can I say this is the most annoying challenging thing to do, among all 101 Primary School Preparation Tasks we need to work on? I've lost count of ideas to label our kids' stationery, water bottle, bag, books, etc. Yes some parents really label every single pencil and eraser for their kids. Nope my parents didn't do that for me 30 years ago and I do not see why I need to do that for my kid now. We've only put name stickers on his books and wrapped with plastic covers. There are about 3 books with odd shapes and sizes so we still need another trip to Popular bookstore for some wraps. And I didn't make Renzo write his names since we have some leftover name stickers we bought when we were preparing him for childcare (gosh my eyes are tearing again talking about his wonderful preschool). Anyway, he knows how to write well and it's not an exam or a contest, so I don't find it a biggie even if I need to write for him. As for his stationery, I have no plan to label them one by one. Well, let's just say, anything that is "unlabelled" ones, belongs to Renzo!? Cool?!!

Wait a minute, what was my question again? Is Renzo school ready? Why am I showing you MY OWN checklist here?! But you see, I'm just trying to say, I don't have any worries though there are still a ton of things I need to sort out before the actual day comes.

So yes, Renzo can't be more ready for it!

I meant all he needs to do, is to be there and embrace the new environment. After his 4 years of preschool life, which requires him to wake up daily before 6:30am, get to school by 7am and spend a whole day there with his teachers and friends, having 2 meals, taking 1 shower and 1 afternoon nap, how can he not be ready?!

He's learned all the academic skills, social skills and survival skills he needs and of course I know Primary School life is going to be very different, I'm very certain he will do just fine. Because each time I think about something new he needs to face on his own, I realize the childcare has taught him enough skills to handle it independently. And most importantly, families lay the foundation for a feeling of security. The family is the base from which the child learns to face and cope with the anxieties of life. For that, I have absolute confidence as we've done all we can, and all we need to be his safe harbor.

Due to the year end holidays, Renzo has no more Piano and Global Art lessons till January 2016. So the last 2 weeks of December, are truly for him to enjoy at his childcare center. In fact, after his graduation concert on December 03, most of the kids in his class have stopped going to childcare. And by now there are less than 8 of them, out of the original 27, who still goes there daily. He asked us if he could stop school earlier like most of his friends, we explained to him that we would wish him to continue till the end, since he has already formed a great routine and it's definitely not the right time to break it. At the same time, he doesn't have any academic studies to work on now, instead, all he needs to do in school everyday, is to help teachers taking care of younger kids. Oh yes Renzo is "in charge" of the K1 class, he reports misconduct to teachers and in the afternoon, he also helps to bring younger ones from Nursery or Pre-nursery to the loo.

Looking at this most recent picture taken in school during Christmas celebration party, I'm amazed to realize, sitting at the back in a dark green top he picked for Christmas party, grabbing onto his toes, Renzo is like a grown up who's so comfortable and well blended into the culture there. Yes he's now one of the eldest in his preschool, ready to be one of the youngest in his new primary school, in another less than 15 days, how TIME FLIES!

effective communication with children

Last night, Renzo and Rynus were playing happily together with a new easel our friends bought as an early Christmas present for Rynus. As there are 2 sets of magnetic letters, they were sharing them happily and the conversation went:
Renzo: "Rynus didi can I have the letter A please?"
Rynus: "Yes sure.."
Renzo: "Thank you Rynus didi!"
Rynus: "You are welcome!"

It went a few rounds and as hubby and I were having our dinner and watching them at the same time, we enjoyed the kind tones from the boys which were so pleasing to the ears.

But suddenly, Rynus changed his mind and decided not to share his new toy with Renzo anymore. You can imagine what happened next. We had one busy Rynus who's trying hard to put all the letters on the easel (so nothing is left for Renzo), and one upset Renzo who collapsed on the floor with an angry face. I tried to calm Renzo down and encourage him to ask again later or offer to exchange his other letters with Rynus to get the letter he needs. But that didn't work at all and it only made Renzo even more frustrated. Worse still, Renzo's frustration got rubbed on onto Rynus and made him even more unwilling to share.

After I attempted one last try to ask the same question to Rynus again in the softest voice I could ever have, and got rejected by him, I decided to change my "strategy". I went closer to Rynus and said to him,
"Rynus, you know that Renzo korkor needs the letter 'E' and since you have 2 of them, do you think you can share just one of them with him? Otherwise he will be very upset, so do you think you can help to make korkor happier by giving one of the Es to him?" 

Immediately, Rynus took down BOTH letter Es on the easel and passed BOTH of them to Renzo.

I was pleasantly surprised that my changing in strategy, by making the right choice of words actually worked on Rynus. As I often mentioned, Rynus has rather high emotional intelligence so I know that by relating to him and helping him understand the impact of his behavior to others, might work better than giving him commands and instructions forcefully and expect him to follow.

So yes, the way we talk to our kids has a huge impact on their learning and ability to listen to us. I've mentioned many times that being a positive role model is the key to successful parenting, and the way we talk to our kids and people around us, fits right into this category, and it also shows them how we want them to speak back to us and people around them too.

Basically there are 3 different ways that parents communicate with their kids.
1. Aggressive way, often yelling..
2. Passive way, muttering softly..
3. Assertive way, positive, warm, consistent and firm..

Obviously I am trying to tell all parents who are reading my post, the 3rd way is by far the most effective way I've found. It even works well with Renzo who's still learning to control his own emotions well. So it's a daily habit for hubby and I to check with Renzo, "How's school? What is one thing that made you happy in school? And did anything happen that made you upset or unhappy?".

These questions might sound simple and maybe even insignificant, but they invite him to open up, let him know we are really listening. These questions also help us to acknowledge his feelings and encourage him to respond with a specific answer. Not just that, believe it or not, effective communication leads to happier kids! Yes Renzo used to be rather grumpy and somber but now, he's perennially sunny. And I strongly believe it's because we put in a lot of efforts communicating with him, understanding his feelings and helping him feel connected with us.

Once we were having a conversation about "fierce looking people", so we asked Renzo if there's anyone he knows who has a fierce looking face. Alright, personally I was expecting an answer like "nainai" from him, sorry my beloved mother-in-law but yes, you do have a fierce looking face, in my eyes, oops..  Renzo responded, "Let me picture the person's face in my mind and think about it, hmmm, nope, no one looks fierce to me at all, everyone has a happy face!!"

His response means the whole world to me!!

"A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver."