trust our children, always..

Last week, Renzo completed a "benchmark" test for all K2 kids conducted in his childcare for all 3 subjects including English, Chinese and Math, and it's meant for the school to use as a benchmark in order to assess and improve their school curriculum. He did pretty well as expected, all thanks to his dedicated teachers in school and of course, he has put in efforts in his daily studies for sure. 

 After the test, I briefly asked him if he feels good about his performance, and when we touched on the "oral test" part, he mentioned that he went through some reading test which consists of both sight word reading and passage reading.  He then commented, "The sight words are so easy, even the nursery kids can read those!" Well nursery kids, that reminded me one thing, Rynus is going to nursery next year!! "Wow Renzo so that means your Rynus didi will be able to read those words next year!" I exclaimed!. "Of course! Even now, he could read those words!" Renzo announced proudly! "He just refuses to do it but he surely knows!".

I wondered for a while, "But how do you know that Renzo? How do you even know didi is able to read then?" I asked, Renzo replied instantaneously, "He's such a smart baby, don't you know that mummy??!!"

Wow I was almost moved to tears and yes how would I not know that. But when it comes from Renzo, who's merely 3 years older than Rynus, it's a totally different experience!! It's like, when we praise him and encourage him to do things, we only expected him to get motivated and feel confident about himself, we totally didn't anticipate he would apply that kind of faith in others, you know what I mean?

Honestly think about it, how often do you hear from other parents:"My kid? that rascal? Don't expect me to trust him/her, he/she sure cannot make it!".. I understand many parents are just trying to be humble so I hope they really don't mean it.

And seriously, I was really impressed with Renzo's thoughts towards his brother, and to certain extend, I do believe he's influenced by the positive parenting style we've been trying to adopt at home. I do see the resemblance between Renzo and us, in terms of the way we think and talk. Like many other parents, we encourage our kids to perform their best at their own pace. It's just like how we trust that Renzo wants to be successful, Renzo wants to do us proud, Renzo wants to learn, and Renzo wants to find his path, he has the exact same beliefs and faith in his little brother Rynus too! And he doesn't just believe in Rynus, he also tries to find ways to lead by example, just like how we try to lead by example at home when bringing Renzo up too. I do think this kind of influence, will eventually foster more positive and healthy emotional health in kids.

And in fact, just a few weeks ago, one evening, Rynus was not willing to follow our instructions so we decided to send him to the thinking corner for some self reflection. He's a rather stubborn kid, he seldom throws tantrums but if he refuses to budge, he can plant his feet down on the floor and nobody can move him, not a single inch. Renzo looked into the little bro's eyes and growled, "You are making daddy and mummy angry, if they are just angry, it's not a big problem because it's just for a while, but if you still do not listen, you are going to make them disappointed! That is much worse than making them angry you know!!" I was amazed by how much Renzo understands his (and Rynus') behavior actually affects us, the most important people they trust in life.

I feel really glad that we choose to trust our kids in every aspects. The Chan family does not introduce any reward system to encourage kids to behave better, because we believe they will do well, even without any prizes. We do not set any limitation on TV time as long as they are watching educational materials, because we want them to learn self-control and stop watching when they do not feel like watching. And we never take away their favorite toys to punish them and hope that it will motivate them to behave better, because that will only leave them feel miserable and unsafe.

So yes many times they seem to go against our standard and detour, but thank you Renzo Chan, for proving to us that we've made the right choice to have full faith in our children. You showed us that you have high expectation on yourself and you trust your family too, we will definitely continue to understand, support and accept you to find your gifts and talents, and lead a happy life the way you want to!

Primary One Orientation walkthrough

Last Friday, on November 06, we brought Renzo to attend his Primary One orientation and as he's our first born, everything was so fresh to us.

About 4 days before the orientation day, we received a letter from his primary school, indicating his class name and enclosing a set of forms to fill up and submit during orientation. I am glad that some of the tips I read online about what to expect during P1 orientation, are indeed very useful. Different schools might have different set-ups for the orientation program but here are a few things I would like to share with fellow parents who's going through this process for the first time like us.

1. Bring along all the duly completed forms provided in the school letter envelop
We brought along the below required document and submitted them to the teachers at the school foyer upon arrival on the orientation day. Make sure you have all the forms properly filled up so to save some time settling the administrative work.
- a Pupil Data Form (with sample provided)
- a GIRO form for school fees
- a National Library membership registration form
- a consent form for in-school dental treatment
- a declaration form on pupil's health situation
- a name tag order form for iron on name tags (for school uniform)
- a book list (there are certain compulsory items on this list and you can use highlighter to highlight things you want to get from the book supplier if you do not want to buy everything on the list)

2. Bring along required stationery for your child
I think it's pretty common for school to assign some simple tasks to kids during orientation, Renzo was required to bring a set of colored pencils, pencil and eraser. True enough, he was tasked to complete some worksheets and color some pictures when he followed the teacher to his classroom.

3. Give your child a wallet with some money
Kids followed assistant teachers to tour around the school after they met up with their form teacher in their designated classroom. And they were asked to purchase food/drinks at the canteen. Renzo didn't buy anything as he claimed he was neither hungry nor thirsty. But knowing our son well enough, I think he was more interested to observe what's going on and by the time he figured out what's going on, maybe a little too late to use his 2 dollars in his wallet.

4. Pack your child's belongings in to a small backpack
Besides the stationery and wallet, a small (light) water bottle and some tissue paper should be good enough. Make the bag light and avoid dumping everything into a pencil case. We've seen some other kids doing that and while they were asked to assemble at the hall, many kids just left their pencil cases on the floor, though I am not sure if anyone has lost anything, I was quite certain that those kids have higher chance to get up from the floor and walk away without bringing along their pencil case. Also do not be the super dad or super mum who carry everything for your kid. Because you have no clue when they will be asked to follow the teachers to classroom, and you don't want your kid to be the odd one with empty hands, walking around to borrow stationery from new friends. Renzo's small little backpack served him well and when he's hassle-free, we are worry-free.

5. Be prepared to be separated from your child
Yes get yourself prepared parents!! I've not seen any crying kid but I've seen so many parents who were getting their first pang of primary school separation anxiety, of course I was one of them. Luckily Renzo was well prepared by his childcare teachers and he told me later on, he knew what to expect from his primary school visit during K2 days earlier this year. And seeing all the kids holding hands and walking around the school with big cheerful smiles, I think most of them are coping very well. I guess part of it is also because they do not have much idea about what to expect, by the time Primary One starts in next Jan, maybe they will feel the pinch too as they know they need to be all alone in school for hours without daddy or mummy around. So you definitely want to let your kid know prior to the orientation day, that they will need to be away from parents for a couple of hours, and they might be required to sit quietly and wait at times, but assure them that you will be hugging them right after the orientation.

6. Remind your child to make friends and try to remember at least 2-3 friends' names
Renzo is the only one from his childcare who's attending this Primary school. Unlike many others who stay nearer to their childcare and ended up in the same primary school, Renzo has to make new friends in his Primary school all over again. He told us that he's talked with 2 other friends from his class but he couldn't remember their names. What a pity! We should have reminded him to introduce himself and ask for his friends' names. It's not something compulsory but it definitely brings them closer together and makes us less concerned.

7. Divide and conquer
We spent the first hour listening to the talk at the hall by school principal and guest speaker, while Renzo and his classmates followed their teacher to their classroom. And after the talk, all parents were ushered to respective classrooms to meet the form teacher. On a side note, I do love the school so much for the fact that the pupils in school helping out on that day, are so polite and attentive. When we walk around the school, we were greeted by them and basically in every 3-5 meters we get to see one of them so there's no way we can get lost!

So while Renzo's form teacher was going through some slides about class rules, I told hubby to stay for that and I went ahead to the sports hall, to join the sneaky woot-I-got-here-before-other-360-parents queue for purchasing of school uniforms and books. Yes that's what I mean by divide and conquer because this is the only time you need to queue. And as expected, I was the first parent to arrive at the sports hall. And within 5 minutes I've settled the school bus arrangement.

The suppliers selling books and uniforms are rather strict so they only allowed me to purchase from them after 1030am as per school's instruction. But being the first in the queue, it was a breeze to get school books purchased. I didn't really strike off anything from the book list, since this is our first time, I didn't see the point of saving a few bucks here and there, instead I just purchased whatever that is needed on the list. All books are nicely packed in a box and they do accept cash, nets or credit card. Later on while we were wrapping his new books, I noticed the files are all printed with school name so I was glad I didn't skip those just because we have plenty spares at home.

The uniform supplier side is a little trickier as we need to wait for the kids to finish their school tour, so that they could join us and take measurement, otherwise it's a bit hard to select the right size of uniform and shoes though I am sure many mummies are like me, who has this amazing ability to get everything in correct size without our kid's presence. We purchased one pair of black shoes (yes it's a bonus for boys to have school shoes in black!!) since we know he probably will outgrow them soon and there's no point to buy so many pairs though they are rather cheap (15 dollars a pair). And we bought 4 pairs of socks, like what many other bloggers mentioned, socks from school are of pretty good quality so I think it's a good idea to get a few more pairs. Renzo wears the smallest size of uniform (26) just as expected. We got him 3 sets of uniforms and 2 sets of PE uniforms, though I've heard in some schools, because of the frequent CCA activities, pupils wear PE uniforms more often than their school uniforms. Anyway I think it's alright, we can always get more sets in the future if necessary.

8. Bring enough cash
The uniform supplier and school bus driver do not accept any cards, so prepare enough cash! We spent 100 on school bus deposit, 150 on books, and 85 on uniforms, shoes and socks. So you can do your maths.
 
9. Keep a look out for the active parent in class
While waiting for the orientation to kick start, a daddy with his son in the school uniform approached us. Parents were organized to sit according to their child's class name. So this seasoned daddy was quick enough to approach every parent from Renzo's class, for our contacts, so that he could set up a whatsapp chat group, talking about modern parents and modern technology! He told us because his elder boy is in the same school so he knows how this works, fair enough! And if you do not get to meet such a pro-active parent, you may consider taking the initiative, either by preparing a piece of paper for everyone to sign on, or spare 30 pieces of your name card and distribute to parents, give them the option to text you if they need to be added to the class whatsapp group.

10. Relax and enjoy!
Yes I know our child is embarking on a new milestone in less than 60 days from now, it's inevitable for parents to feel excited yet anxious during this period. But trust our kids, they are meeting new friends and learning new knowledge, and the school is a place they will be spending the next 6 years of their life in! So let them embrace and enjoy! Of course sometimes the air around some experienced parents who were going through this whole P1 orientation program for the 2nd, 3rd or n's time, are "scary" enough to stress you out. So relax and remain the calm and cool parent and your child will be just fine!