trust our children, always..

Last week, Renzo completed a "benchmark" test for all K2 kids conducted in his childcare for all 3 subjects including English, Chinese and Math, and it's meant for the school to use as a benchmark in order to assess and improve their school curriculum. He did pretty well as expected, all thanks to his dedicated teachers in school and of course, he has put in efforts in his daily studies for sure. 

 After the test, I briefly asked him if he feels good about his performance, and when we touched on the "oral test" part, he mentioned that he went through some reading test which consists of both sight word reading and passage reading.  He then commented, "The sight words are so easy, even the nursery kids can read those!" Well nursery kids, that reminded me one thing, Rynus is going to nursery next year!! "Wow Renzo so that means your Rynus didi will be able to read those words next year!" I exclaimed!. "Of course! Even now, he could read those words!" Renzo announced proudly! "He just refuses to do it but he surely knows!".

I wondered for a while, "But how do you know that Renzo? How do you even know didi is able to read then?" I asked, Renzo replied instantaneously, "He's such a smart baby, don't you know that mummy??!!"

Wow I was almost moved to tears and yes how would I not know that. But when it comes from Renzo, who's merely 3 years older than Rynus, it's a totally different experience!! It's like, when we praise him and encourage him to do things, we only expected him to get motivated and feel confident about himself, we totally didn't anticipate he would apply that kind of faith in others, you know what I mean?

Honestly think about it, how often do you hear from other parents:"My kid? that rascal? Don't expect me to trust him/her, he/she sure cannot make it!".. I understand many parents are just trying to be humble so I hope they really don't mean it.

And seriously, I was really impressed with Renzo's thoughts towards his brother, and to certain extend, I do believe he's influenced by the positive parenting style we've been trying to adopt at home. I do see the resemblance between Renzo and us, in terms of the way we think and talk. Like many other parents, we encourage our kids to perform their best at their own pace. It's just like how we trust that Renzo wants to be successful, Renzo wants to do us proud, Renzo wants to learn, and Renzo wants to find his path, he has the exact same beliefs and faith in his little brother Rynus too! And he doesn't just believe in Rynus, he also tries to find ways to lead by example, just like how we try to lead by example at home when bringing Renzo up too. I do think this kind of influence, will eventually foster more positive and healthy emotional health in kids.

And in fact, just a few weeks ago, one evening, Rynus was not willing to follow our instructions so we decided to send him to the thinking corner for some self reflection. He's a rather stubborn kid, he seldom throws tantrums but if he refuses to budge, he can plant his feet down on the floor and nobody can move him, not a single inch. Renzo looked into the little bro's eyes and growled, "You are making daddy and mummy angry, if they are just angry, it's not a big problem because it's just for a while, but if you still do not listen, you are going to make them disappointed! That is much worse than making them angry you know!!" I was amazed by how much Renzo understands his (and Rynus') behavior actually affects us, the most important people they trust in life.

I feel really glad that we choose to trust our kids in every aspects. The Chan family does not introduce any reward system to encourage kids to behave better, because we believe they will do well, even without any prizes. We do not set any limitation on TV time as long as they are watching educational materials, because we want them to learn self-control and stop watching when they do not feel like watching. And we never take away their favorite toys to punish them and hope that it will motivate them to behave better, because that will only leave them feel miserable and unsafe.

So yes many times they seem to go against our standard and detour, but thank you Renzo Chan, for proving to us that we've made the right choice to have full faith in our children. You showed us that you have high expectation on yourself and you trust your family too, we will definitely continue to understand, support and accept you to find your gifts and talents, and lead a happy life the way you want to!