Another self-reflection day for Daddy Chan...

Every time after I snap at Renzo for an act of mischievousness or misconduct, at the end of the day when everyone is asleep, I think to myself in the serenity and peace of the night, what could I have done otherwise in the course of nurturing Renzo to have prevented that action.

It was no different last night.

I was in the living room and giving Renzo an earful for playfully slapping a neighbour's legs repeatedly and tugging at his shirt and not stopping despite my plea when Renzo was at the playground. And I lost it when he started giggling when I recounted the incident to him. No I didn't physically hit him nor did I threaten him emotionally, but I just walked away in disappointment.

I teared in front of my son for the second time in his life. It was one of those moments when you feel like all the efforts put into him has been for naught. When even your serious tone is nothing more than a passing breeze that even the foolishness of a recounted event can take precedence over. As the day moved on, we chilled and I went back to explaining how disappointed I was and what was my expectations of him when in front of people.

One of those days when Renzo becomes the most wonderful brother

Had an evening jog with Mummy Chan after the kids slept and before I went to bed myself, the word "Parenting" kept fogging all my other thoughts until I had to focus on it to clear my mind.

Being the present participle form of a noun (as opposed to the usual verb) makes the word "Parenting" an interesting one. We call the process of raising children, "Parenting" and not "Childrening" for obvious reasons. We, parents, are the one in focus during this life-long process, not the kids. I may not be a child psychologist or a gifted parent, but I believe for my style of parenting to be success, I need to adapt and change how I influence my boys as they grow and at the same time, observe and understand them, and occasionally...just occasionally...accept that kids value fun over everything else.

The most wonderful thing about parenting is how we need to be an advocate the things we wish our kids to be imparted. To encourage them to drink water, we haven't had a pet bottle of soft-drink in our fridge for a while now. To encourage them to practice piano, Mummy Chan mastered a simple version of Pachelbel's Canon.To encourage them to read, I pick up a book every now and then. All these little actions not only serve to be live demonstrations of our resolve, but at the same time, enrich our lives meaningfully.

So looking back at the little fiasco with Renzo, I guess the next thing that I should be doing is to bring him out more often and play with him to show him the boundaries and limits, and letting him express himself in the most endearing child-like ways within those boundaries, until the day he can truly understand the reason why Daddy Chan sets these limits, and together, we can explore outside of this "box".

Because from my perspective as Daddy, this is "Parenting", from his perspective as Son, this is "Growing Up". Like the 2 lines that forms a letter X, these 2 perspectives starts far, but eventually converges when the duo has optimal understanding of each other, and over time, begin to distant again. Renzo, my son, like most others, we are still learning from and about each other but I know that from the day that our perspectives coincide, we can carry on down the path of a letter Y and be in union. :)