Raising a Rational Renzo

Everyday around us, we can easily spot emotional people.

That frustrated lady, furiously pushing the button for the lift, knowing that pushing it once or dozen times has no correlation to the speed at which the lift will come.

That torn executive, cursing himself for not selling those shares before the prices plummeted.

That unrequited lover, crying over a lost relationship that never was.

People often find themselves in situations where, when given a clearer state of mind, they would have reacted differently or sometimes even laugh at oneself for those acts of silliness.

Emotion gets the better of many adults, let alone kids...

So here I was, sitting at the dining table eating my salad dinner with Renzo diagonally across me, slowly scrapping away at his bowl of rice with the spoon. A few meters away from us stood a Christmas tree that was recently taken out of the storeroom to once again be assembled and in its full glory like it was when we purchased it a year ago. 

Trying to converse with Renzo, I started asking him about his thoughts around Christmas...Bad.Choice... Renzo dropped his spoon and started to sulk. So when I gently asked him, "What's wrong?" He replied tearily, "I want my Christmas present now and I can't wait any longer." 

Just for records, just a few days before this incident, Renzo told us that he would want "Hiro" (a train from the "Thomas the Tank Engine" children's book series) for Christmas (foolish boy thought he can wiggle his way into getting 12 presents for the 12 days of Christmas.. haha)

So now that it is still a couple of weeks away from Christmas, he claims that he is sad.

I looked at him in the eye and slowly explained that there are many children around the world who might not be able to even afford to have toys, and that he should count his blessings that he has his collection and that Mummy Chan and myself have agreed to buy him his "Hiro".

He went silent for a while, digesting what I just said before he began to sulk again, "But I would really really like to have it now. And if I don't get it now, I'll be very sad. :( "

"But Christmas isn't here yet and being sad won't make Christmas come any earlier," I explained to him, hoping to finally give him my first lessons at thinking rationally, "Being sad is a choice. So why don't you choose to be happy?"

"I'm trying but it is just too hard."

With a little laugh, I put out my right hand, palm up, then finger by finger, I clenched it into a fist. Holding it for a few moments, I then opened up my fist again, finger by finger.

Renzo took shuffled glances between my hand and me.

I then asked, "Can you do this?" while expertly repeating the motion with my hand like a magician making a coin disappear. Renzo obligingly tried but as expected, couldn't do it as well.

"It is too hard for me," he complained.

"Daddy used to be like you and can't do it well, but over a period of time and with practice, you see what Daddy can do now." Renzo did nothing but just stared at his fist.

"Now Renzo, imagine that emotion is just another part of your body that you can learn to control with practice. With enough of practice and understanding of yourself, you will be able to choose when to be happy and when to be sad or angry." This time, Renzo looked back at me and through those lovely, inquisitive eye, I could see that he was gaining some enlightenment.

But my excitement was short-lived when Renzo gave a little pout and said,"It is still too hard. I think I can only be not so sad when I forget that Daddy and Mummy will be buying Hiro for me for Christmas!" and with that, he picked up his spoon and went back to scrapping at his bowl...

One small step for Daddy Chan in trying to instill rationalism into Renzo, one big step for the world in almost having one less person pushing lift buttons more than necessary =D