back on the piano topic, again...

From September 2012 when Renzo first started the Music Wonderland course with Yamaha, which lasted for only 6 months due to logistic concerns, till we restarted his piano lessons in October 2013 with private teacher at home, Renzo's piano learning journey has not been all smooth. And a month ago, we finally made the call to switch him to a school in the same building as his childcare center, so that he could attend his lessons once a week during school time, just like his GlobalArt lessons. He follows a teacher for one on one lessons and the techniques taught are very similar to what he's been learning under his previous teacher in the past one year. Now he's totally free on Saturdays and Sundays and he could play all day long, what a wonderful childhood, seriously!!!

The new piano teacher commented a few times that Renzo's previous teacher has built a solid foundation so he knows his theories very well, and Renzo is extremely good with his rhythms. Hence he's progress is rather fast because the new curriculum is indeed easier than the previous one. I do feel sorry for Renzo as we have been making so many changes to his routine within a short span of 2 year, yet he's able to cope well each time.


Up to now, I think it's pretty clear to us that Renzo's interest and passion in music is just not as strong, wait, was he ever keen??!! He could spend hours drawing or coloring but 15 minutes of piano practice a day, is still something he is not willing to commit to. He needs a lot of encouragement and discipline. Just this morning, he was pretty upset when we forced him to practice. I had to "threaten" him by asking him to choose between piano and his toys, so if he chooses NOT to touch his piano anymore, I will choose NOT to let him touch his toys anymore. Well, I know it's not fair but once a while, I do have to remind him that I AM THE MOTHER! Okay authoritative parenting is not my style for sure, but, just once a while... I meant, who doesn't face such kind of challenges with toddlers at home?!

The "threatening" didn't work out very well, although he continued to practice, he wasn't happy. I then showed him a video of his cousin playing a difficult piece without making mistakes. He seemed a little more inspired and carried on to do better and better.

At one point, I caught him beating his own left hand when Daddy reminded him to keep his fingers naturally curved, as he was accidentally pressing 2 keys at a time with his left hand. That act of him, was a wake up call to me that kids might not understand or react well with criticism, but they definitely feel embarrassed, or even shameful while being criticized and we as parents should take care of their feelings, and motivate them to come up with better solutions on their own, which are often way more constructive.

So I explained to Renzo that there's no need to "blame" his left hand, and the fact is, he's still young and when he's fingers grow longer, he will definitely be able to play better. But for the time being, a better solution would be, practice, practice, and practice more...

Raising a Rational Renzo

Everyday around us, we can easily spot emotional people.

That frustrated lady, furiously pushing the button for the lift, knowing that pushing it once or dozen times has no correlation to the speed at which the lift will come.

That torn executive, cursing himself for not selling those shares before the prices plummeted.

That unrequited lover, crying over a lost relationship that never was.

People often find themselves in situations where, when given a clearer state of mind, they would have reacted differently or sometimes even laugh at oneself for those acts of silliness.

Emotion gets the better of many adults, let alone kids...

So here I was, sitting at the dining table eating my salad dinner with Renzo diagonally across me, slowly scrapping away at his bowl of rice with the spoon. A few meters away from us stood a Christmas tree that was recently taken out of the storeroom to once again be assembled and in its full glory like it was when we purchased it a year ago. 

Trying to converse with Renzo, I started asking him about his thoughts around Christmas...Bad.Choice... Renzo dropped his spoon and started to sulk. So when I gently asked him, "What's wrong?" He replied tearily, "I want my Christmas present now and I can't wait any longer." 

Just for records, just a few days before this incident, Renzo told us that he would want "Hiro" (a train from the "Thomas the Tank Engine" children's book series) for Christmas (foolish boy thought he can wiggle his way into getting 12 presents for the 12 days of Christmas.. haha)

So now that it is still a couple of weeks away from Christmas, he claims that he is sad.

I looked at him in the eye and slowly explained that there are many children around the world who might not be able to even afford to have toys, and that he should count his blessings that he has his collection and that Mummy Chan and myself have agreed to buy him his "Hiro".

He went silent for a while, digesting what I just said before he began to sulk again, "But I would really really like to have it now. And if I don't get it now, I'll be very sad. :( "

"But Christmas isn't here yet and being sad won't make Christmas come any earlier," I explained to him, hoping to finally give him my first lessons at thinking rationally, "Being sad is a choice. So why don't you choose to be happy?"

"I'm trying but it is just too hard."

With a little laugh, I put out my right hand, palm up, then finger by finger, I clenched it into a fist. Holding it for a few moments, I then opened up my fist again, finger by finger.

Renzo took shuffled glances between my hand and me.

I then asked, "Can you do this?" while expertly repeating the motion with my hand like a magician making a coin disappear. Renzo obligingly tried but as expected, couldn't do it as well.

"It is too hard for me," he complained.

"Daddy used to be like you and can't do it well, but over a period of time and with practice, you see what Daddy can do now." Renzo did nothing but just stared at his fist.

"Now Renzo, imagine that emotion is just another part of your body that you can learn to control with practice. With enough of practice and understanding of yourself, you will be able to choose when to be happy and when to be sad or angry." This time, Renzo looked back at me and through those lovely, inquisitive eye, I could see that he was gaining some enlightenment.

But my excitement was short-lived when Renzo gave a little pout and said,"It is still too hard. I think I can only be not so sad when I forget that Daddy and Mummy will be buying Hiro for me for Christmas!" and with that, he picked up his spoon and went back to scrapping at his bowl...

One small step for Daddy Chan in trying to instill rationalism into Renzo, one big step for the world in almost having one less person pushing lift buttons more than necessary =D

the awesome yearly school concert...

On Thursday, Nov 13, 2014, we took one day off from work, to attend probably the biggest event of the year, Renzo's childcare year end concert.

Renzo refused to reveal any details about his concert despite me asking him numerous times at home. Every year, the preparation of their year end concert starts around July, and the kids spend time every day to learn and practice their dance moves. The concert is held around early December though for some reason this year it's in November, which is not a bad thing because we simply couldn't wait any further to see him performing on stage again.

And the efforts teachers put in, are simply astonishing. The teachers request kids to bring their white shoes and white socks to school, a couple of weeks in advance, just in case anyone forgets to bring their shoes/socks on the actual day. The teachers spend hours selecting costumes and making props for the concert. Although some parents might find it insane to pay S$40 dollars for a set of costume which is likely to be wore only once, I personally love all Renzo's costumes as he looks super duper adorable and cool in those costumes. The teachers organize full dress rehearsal for kids to get familiarized with the stage, as each time the concert is held outside the school at places like Kallang Theater, Simei ITE auditorium, etc. I've heard once the founder of the school commented during the rehearsal, that the hairstyles of girls from a K2 class is not flattering enough on the stage, the teacher made last minute changes to make sure the concern is addressed and the girls are looking their best on the actual day.

 

What I truly love about his school concert, is that the kids spend time together to learn their dance steps. They get to experience what is team work beside focusing on their own body coordination. And we as parents do not need to worry about getting to the concert to find out our poor kid being the "unlucky" one to act as a tree, in hot unglamorous costume and basically is not allowed to move the body, or maybe occasionally get to move the arms (branches) a bit.

Renzo told us that it is going to be an amazing surprise for all the daddies and mummies, and it's going to be the most exciting event of the year. So we arrived at the concert without any clue about what to expect, honestly, till that very moment, I wasn't even sure if my son is able to dance well. So yes, he has definitely surprised us, year after year. Pianica performance is added for K1 and K2 kids, hence this is the first year he's participating. I do believe it's rather easier for him since he's been learning piano for quite a while. As for his dance, I was totally blown away because I never know that he has any flair in dancing but just like what his teachers told me, his rhythm is really good. He might looked a bit zoned out, a bit slow motion, a bit short hands short legs but, he looked damn cool throughout without making any wrong moves at all.

For the fact that we do not own a powerful camera and we prefer not to rush to the front of the stage like many other parents often do, we didn't manage to capture any great quality pictures of videos, but we did enjoy the show to the max. And I just can't wait for the professional up close video/pictures from the school.

 

Last year, the theme of the concert was Retro and Renzo did a gorgeous "Hey Mickey" dance.

 

 

 

 

   

If you think that it's a big deal to put up a nice show at such tender young age, let me show you the dance he did in 2012 when he was only 3 years 4 months old.

 

 

 

 

 

It might sound a bit crazy to get a bunch of active 3 years old kids to put up a show on stage, but I strongly believe the opportunity and exposure given to have them enjoy some fun time on the stage, will encourage them o foster a more positive attitude and explore their own self-expression.

I couldn't imagine how touched I will feel during his next school concert as by then, he will be graduating from K2 and that will be the last time he has the chance to show case what he's learned in this wonderful childcare center. The best part is, it will be the first year that Rynus didi gets to participate in school concert also!!

Happiness, is a choice

10am, November 02, 2014, Sunday, Lift Lobby

While walking togther to Daddy's car, Renzo suddenly started whining and tearing for no reason, it could be because we were nagging him to speed up as his piano lesson starts at 1030am, and he finally got himself seated inside the car, just never stop sobbing..

Mummy: "Renzo, what's bothering you??!"
Renzo: "I don't know, I am not sure.."
Mummy: "Then can you please just stop whining??!"
Renzo: "I am trying..."
Mummy: "Renzo, in life, a lot of times we do not have a choice, I guess you might not be willing to go for your lesson but you know you just have to go for it. So why not go happily and enjoy, since you don't have a choice anyway?!"
Renzo: "Yes mummy..."
Mummy: "So have you stopped crying?"
Renzo: "Yes..."
Mummy: "Are you feeling better?"
Renzo: "Yes Mummy!"

Instead of dwelling on why he was not happy, we carried on with other topics like what we are going to do after his piano lesson. He's back to the normal cheerful boy again..

And that's it, that's the conversation with my 5 years old on a topic we discuss often recently - Happiness, is a choice! Nothing, and nobody will make you happy until you choose to be happy!

Many people, both adults and children, have difficulties dealing with emotions. So my focus this year, is not to send our 5 years old Renzo for endless enrichment classes in the name of getting him ready for primary school in another year, but to get him mentally prepared for the primary school life as an independent individual, by teaching him the virtue of disciplining himself well while appreciating his surroundings and seeing good things in others. To do that, he needs to learn to control his own emotions, which enables him to cooperate with others, to cope with frustration, and to resolve conflicts.

Children learn a lot from others and are very quick to pickup and mimic behaviors, either good or bad, that they have seen exhibited by others. So my style of emotional coaching, is always to be a good role model and practice what you preach. Besides that, I've discovered a very effective way that helps Renzo - write to him!!

So a couple of weeks ago, Daddy and I worked together with Renzo to make a mailbox for Renzo to get letters from us. The initial idea was just to encourage him to read more, and write more. We've been writing to him and we've even received 2 letters from him. Those were not love letters filled with heart shapes, those were true words of encouragement for his efforts to behave well.

Gradually, I realized when I need to play my role as Renzo's emotional coach, writing to him seems to be extremely effective. I do feel that while Renzo is reading the letters word by word, those values we want to teach him get instilled and he's trying to improve day by day in order to do us proud. Of course kid being kid, he soon forgets but taking out those letters and re-read them easily reminds him about what are the good behaviors we expect to see from him. And recently he handled 2 "bully cases" extremely well by controlling his own emotions. 

Once at the pool, he told the boy "if you keep splashing water on my face, your daddy will bring you to thinking corner!" although he could choose to yell and cry or even fight back. When the boy finally got punished by his dad, Renzo was proud to share with me that the method i taught him ~ focus on your own good behavior and not to be affected by others, is actually working!! Another time, he pulled the boy who snatched his toy car on a racing track at a toy shop, to the notice board and told him, "Can't you read? It says to bring your own car or buy one here in order to play the car on the track?! That's my car, if you want to play, ask your mummy to buy one for you!". Although eventually I needed to step in and grab that car back because the boy simply ignored my "discipline master" boy's precious advice... 

Indeed Renzo has been dealing with his Terrible-Twos-little-brother on a daily basis, and most of the time he will just give in by saying, "Rynus didi is still a baby", "it's alright", "I am not going to be bothered about him!" when being bullied by Rynus. He was just bitten by Rynus a few days back, that got him really upset and went totally out of control for a few minutes, with crying and screaming and venting his angers at his didi, but eventually he calmed down and showed me two deep bite marks on his arm, I had to absolutely agree that he had all reasons to be mad at Rynus. 

I definitely believe he's on the right track to learn self control, as parents we still have a lot to do but it's really rewarding to see our little one trying to handle upsetting situation better and better in everyday interactions!

sartorially sophisticated Renzo..

When I first found out I was expecting a baby boy 5 years ago, the first thought crossed my mind was, there goes the plan to doll up a little cutie baby girl..

I've never expected 2-3 years down the road, I found it way more fun and fascinating to dress up my boy, oh well I should say to watch my boy dress himself up by picking out his favorite piece from a pile of shirts, for most days of the year regardless of whether there's a special occasion or not.

Believe it or not, I now strongly feel that it's way easier to dress up boys than girls. Usually for girls, mummies tend to overdo it by adding on too much accessories or putting too many styles together at one go as they are just spoiled for choice. Whereas for boys, you can't go far too wrong and a little bit of efforts can make a huge difference.

But I don't seem to have much chance to put my passable fashion sense to use at all, because Renzo surely has his own ideas about what makes him look good. So here are the styles I like, vibrant colors, hoodies, cute cartoon characters, and the small floral prints that totally gets on his nerves, hence I had an angry boy facing me with his back while taking that last picture.

Apparently Renzo prefers more timeless essentials and less trendy items, his fashion sense is rather mature as he doesn't seem to appreciate too babyish look, instead he wants to look smart, stylish, suave and sophisticated, in my eyes at least.

Long pants
He's seldom in shorts and sandals, which is the most common combination of Singaporean kids, and even men. He just loves to wear long pants all the time. He could accept those colorful ones or even funky ones with pockets at the back, but his favorite is still, JEANS!

Buttoned shirts
His all time favorite! And he even shopped online to select his own shirts! And whenever he's in buttoned shirts, he's in good mood to take picture, and often is generous enough to give that one-million-dollar-worth sweet smile!

Jackets
His new found love, indeed he prefers those formal blazers but it's pretty hard to find really nice designs for daily wear. He admits he will sweat in jackets, especially in our hot sunny Singapore, but he still feels it's nice and has requested for me to get a few thinner ones instead.

Accessories
His must have nowadays, he has a few belts, ties and bow ties, and he knows how to match them with shirts based on color contrast. And he doesn't need a reason to put on his shirts, even when he's doing homework!

One morning he put up his belt on his forehead, as we were wondering about why, he made a shield and acted as if he's a little knight!

Once when his grandpa, my dad, invited him for a buffet lunch, he dressed up and even went for a hair cut before heading down to the restaurant, just because he wanted to style his hair nicely to give grandpa a surprise! And another time when we brought him to hotel for a small event, he went "fully armored" with a two toned shirt, a sleek black tie, a smart looking jacket and a pair of stylish jeans, and made us feel completely underdressed in smart casual wear.

Nowadays, I do not buy clothes for Renzo without his permission anymore, and for those which I've purchased without his permission in the past, luckily they could be passed on to his Rynus didi, who is less picky at the moment, though he's also showing signs of personal preference, just like his korkor...

those awkward moments when Renzo makes mummy feel...

Dumb, yes DUMB, that's the word.

I am always proud to tell my friends that my son doesn't know how to talk back, after hearing a lot of vomit-blood-stories about how a young toddler talks/argues back to parents on every single instruction he/she gets, almost everyday. But, I do experience some awkward moments often, when Renzo simply point out something which makes me feel like, why don't I know that?!!!

Tell me how would you feel:

While reading a story about a bear finds a box for the mouse...
(half way through the story)
Mummy: "Make a guess Renzo, what's inside the box? I think, it's a tiny piece of cheese!
Renzo: "I think, it's a house for the mouse!"
(almost done with the story)
Mummy: "ah I know, there's a mirror in the box!"
Renzo: "It's a house for the mouse, Mummy!"
(at the end of the story)
So the story ends like this:

Mummy: "wow how do you know that Renzo?!
Renzo: "I've read it before mummy, and I remember, you've never read that story before right?!-_-"

Apparently about a month ago, my dad bought this book during his trip to Taiwan, and Renzo flipped through the book for less than 5 minutes when he received it from my dad, so, that's how he got to know about it. And he has since never touched the book till recently so we are not even aware that he's read it on his own!

While waiting for some kids program to start on TV...
Mummy: "You keep watching Disney Junior, do you really know what show is this Renzo?"
Renzo: "Jungle Junction.."
Mummy: "Wow how do you know that, the show has not even started?!!"
Renzo: "When you see a lot of animals with wheels, that's Jungle Junction mummy!"

What a precise description!! And he's absolutely right, it's so easy to spot that but somehow despite watching the show with him for 1001 times, I just never really noticed at all...

While talking to Renzo about his day at school in daddy's car...
Mummy: "Did you play with Ashton today Renzo?"
Renzo: "Yup, and I have a new 小朋友 Valerie.."
Mummy: "That's nice! So is Joy Joy still in the same class as you Renzo?"
Renzo: "Not Joy Joy, Joy Shayna Lee!"
Mummy: " Yup I know that's her full name but you all call her Joy Joy since she was young you know.."
Renzo: "Right... orh.. Porsche!"
Mummy: "Por-sher? Who is Porsche? Another new friend in your class?! Boy or girl??"
Renzo: "That's a car brand mummy!!" (Pointing at a black Porsche that just zoomed pass daddy's car)

Hello!! Your mother might not really know as many car brands/models as you do, since car is just not the thing for women, but I completely, utterly, wholly and thoroughly understand that Porsche is a car brand, before I got confused during such a funny conversation with you, my boy!!

I wish I could have jotted down every single detail of such moments with Renzo, yes there are many other similar kind of conversations, and that what's-the-big-deal kind of calm but serious expression on his face, or should I just be brutally honest and say that his "yaya papaya (Singlish word that means arrogant and boastful) face, is always of highest entertainment value to me!

Renzo's first "scrapbook"

Just recently, I got really inspired by a mummy friend's beautiful scrapbook ideas and decided to start filing Renzo's drawings, as some of his drawings are really very nicely done, and I do wish that 20 years down the road, he would appreciate the fact that we've kept all his hard work for him. Well of course with this watchrenzogrow blog, indeed we have been keeping lots of wonderful memories for him, but I still think nothing beats a physical collection of his drawings kept intact, for his children's viewing pleasure in the future.

I went to Popular bookshop 2 times in a day, and finally decided to get a traditional photo album instead of a standard scrapbook, the reason is simple, I am not a creative person and a scrapbook sounds like too big a challenge for me, whereas for the photo album, it is much cheaper and easier to maintain, at least for a rookie like me.

The filing process was pretty fun, till we realized some of his most amazing pieces, were thrown away by our helper. Honestly I was a bit cross, I meant it's no doubt my fault, to have told her that she could make her own decision and feel free to throw anything in the house while packing. But obviously, those drawings are so delicate, cheerful, lively and came with so much efforts!! How can anyone deem those as "not-worth-keeping" stuff?!

I got over it when Renzo told me, "It's alright mummy, I still remember how I drew them and we have a lot of time in a day right? I can draw again, and I can draw even better ones!"

Fortunately, I kept some pictures of those drawings so we went ahead to develop those out. While I was embellishing those particular pages, Renzo read the contents I added and somehow, he felt that some true facts were missing there, so he cut off a small piece of paper and added "Mummy has thrown it away -->" next to some of those missing pieces, he sure knows how to rub salt into wounds =(

He was thrilled when I presented the album full of drawings eventually, and went ahead to complete another new piece, just so he could add it into the album. I am so glad to see how much he is appreciating this album and he told me, "I want to draw everyday, forever!!".. I am loving this great new start and hopefully we will move on to a really great looking scrapbook in the very near future!

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5-A-Day-Books with Renzo

Last week, when I went to fetch Renzo from school after work, we met one of his classmates and her mummy at the lift. The friendly mummy pointed out to me that the lift is not working as I didn't notice the signboard pasted on the wall. And Renzo asked, "Mummy, why we are not allowed to use this lift?", I told him to read the message on the signboard so he could find out why. The mummy was in shock when Renzo started reading: "This lift cannot service level 4.....".

So she asked, "Isn't he in K1 also? He can READ??!! How do you teach him to read??!!". Renzo carried on reading:"Sorry for any... any... mummy what is this word?". I tried to break down the word "inconvenience" into 4 syllables and point at the letters while Renzo was decoding and sounding out "in-con-ven-ience", and then I explained to the mummy about how we guide Renzo to "decode" complex words by breaking it down based on syllables, make the sound of each syllable, blend them together and sound it out.

The mummy said bye to us with an amazed face, leaving me behind, wondering for a while about the question, how do we teach Renzo to read?!

I probably have never shared any tips here about how, because we never really have any tips. The one and only one tip I could think of, is to cultivate good reading habit from young, so kids will find reading rather a fun routine they enjoy doing daily. Usually the only reason Renzo refuses to sleep on time at 9:30pm, is because he has not finished reading his books. He's currently on a routine called "5-A-Day-Books" which is widely adopted by many parents.  The idea is to have your kid pick any 5 books and repeatedly read them everyday for one whole week, and move on to next set of 5 books. We let Renzo pick anything he likes because he has already formed a routine of reading books with us before bedtime since he was 3. Before that, we were the one reading to him as he couldn't read on his own.

And recently Renzo has been very eager to improve his Chinese so his 5-A-Day-Books choice often includes 4 Chinese books and 1 English book only. And amazingly, he is improving! Of course I must give credits to his childcare teachers who have taught them hanyupinyin in K1, I know most pre-schools start that in K2 only. He's now able to read simple Chinese books independently.

Last night when we asked Renzo to pick his 5 books, instead of going straight to the bookshelf as what he always does, he suddenly said, "I am not sure, I do not know which ones to pick because I've read all these books already. I want to be smarter but I do not have many books to read!!". He's quite right because he really doesn't have a lot of books, so I've decided to get him some new books on his favorite Disney characters like Jake or Sophia. And I am sure I have the need to up his book collection immediately, because now Rynus didi seems to get more and more interested in this 5-A-Day-Books routine too!!

Never late again for homework submission

This morning, when I woke up and checked our "notice board" on the fridge (we have a habit to put up all the notification from school with fridge magnets, so we won't miss out any important deadline), I suddenly recalled that besides bringing a mooncake to school for Mid Autumn festival celebration, kids are supposed to make a lantern with recycled materials, and the deadline for submission is, today! September 08!!!

I remember last week when we first received this piece of notice in Renzo's comm book, we briefly talked about what to do with it and since he was having an earlier deadline for "teacher's day heart decoration" before this, we decided to leave the lantern till the weekend. Being the least creative one in the house, I suggested using red packet as I've seen many before so I was very sure it's easy to make.

It's already 6:15am and I usually wake up the family by 6:20am to prepare the kids for school. So i quickly did a search on the internet and found some pretty good tips there.When I asked daddy what are we supposed to do, my half awake husband gave me that same one million dollar answer as usual:"no choice, just submit it tomorrow lor..."

No way!!! That's what i told myself because last week when we received the teacher's day heart for decoration on Wednesday night, the deadline was Friday and when I went to fetch Renzo on Thursday night, half of the wall at the school entrance has already been filled up with beautifully decorated hearts.

Renzo was a little upset and commented:"I'm late because my friends have made their hearts already..". When i explained to him that the deadline falls on the next day and he's not late at all, he responded, "but, I can always submit earlier right?!". So the moment we reached home, he looked for his heart and started drawing and writing without any help at all. He's very certain about how he wants his heart to look like and I'm truly impressed with how confident and independent he is because in the past, he always needed some guidance on artwork like this.

So tell me, how can let him wait until tomorrow??!!

By the way, Renzo was late for his submission once before, and being late is never O.K. to me. I was never late for submission at school or at work, not even once, and I attribute that to the great habit my parents cultivated in me since young. And I always believe in leading by example, though this is Renzo's homework, he's still not at the age to do it independently so I feel that I am partially responsible for his lateness (almost late, not yet) too.

Luckily, Daddy Chan is really good at artwork, but of course he needs ample time to deliver great result, wow that sounds exactly like Renzo, lol, slow but steady. Anyway so given a limited 5~10 minutes timeframe, this has to be the best lantern daddy could come up with I guess.

Renzo was excited to see the "red packet lantern" that he could bring to school! I was in great mood that my son is not going to be upset seeing others running around with their lanterns in school, and most importantly, I promised myself to work harder in teaching Renzo to be more responsible in submitting his own homework on time, and I thought it's a pretty good start at least. So I decided to make Renzo even more excited by allowing him to wear his own clothes (of course the nice piece he chose himself) to school for his celebration, Happy Mid Autumn my little darling!!

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