back on the piano topic, again...

From September 2012 when Renzo first started the Music Wonderland course with Yamaha, which lasted for only 6 months due to logistic concerns, till we restarted his piano lessons in October 2013 with private teacher at home, Renzo's piano learning journey has not been all smooth. And a month ago, we finally made the call to switch him to a school in the same building as his childcare center, so that he could attend his lessons once a week during school time, just like his GlobalArt lessons. He follows a teacher for one on one lessons and the techniques taught are very similar to what he's been learning under his previous teacher in the past one year. Now he's totally free on Saturdays and Sundays and he could play all day long, what a wonderful childhood, seriously!!!

The new piano teacher commented a few times that Renzo's previous teacher has built a solid foundation so he knows his theories very well, and Renzo is extremely good with his rhythms. Hence he's progress is rather fast because the new curriculum is indeed easier than the previous one. I do feel sorry for Renzo as we have been making so many changes to his routine within a short span of 2 year, yet he's able to cope well each time.


Up to now, I think it's pretty clear to us that Renzo's interest and passion in music is just not as strong, wait, was he ever keen??!! He could spend hours drawing or coloring but 15 minutes of piano practice a day, is still something he is not willing to commit to. He needs a lot of encouragement and discipline. Just this morning, he was pretty upset when we forced him to practice. I had to "threaten" him by asking him to choose between piano and his toys, so if he chooses NOT to touch his piano anymore, I will choose NOT to let him touch his toys anymore. Well, I know it's not fair but once a while, I do have to remind him that I AM THE MOTHER! Okay authoritative parenting is not my style for sure, but, just once a while... I meant, who doesn't face such kind of challenges with toddlers at home?!

The "threatening" didn't work out very well, although he continued to practice, he wasn't happy. I then showed him a video of his cousin playing a difficult piece without making mistakes. He seemed a little more inspired and carried on to do better and better.

At one point, I caught him beating his own left hand when Daddy reminded him to keep his fingers naturally curved, as he was accidentally pressing 2 keys at a time with his left hand. That act of him, was a wake up call to me that kids might not understand or react well with criticism, but they definitely feel embarrassed, or even shameful while being criticized and we as parents should take care of their feelings, and motivate them to come up with better solutions on their own, which are often way more constructive.

So I explained to Renzo that there's no need to "blame" his left hand, and the fact is, he's still young and when he's fingers grow longer, he will definitely be able to play better. But for the time being, a better solution would be, practice, practice, and practice more...

Raising a Rational Renzo

Everyday around us, we can easily spot emotional people.

That frustrated lady, furiously pushing the button for the lift, knowing that pushing it once or dozen times has no correlation to the speed at which the lift will come.

That torn executive, cursing himself for not selling those shares before the prices plummeted.

That unrequited lover, crying over a lost relationship that never was.

People often find themselves in situations where, when given a clearer state of mind, they would have reacted differently or sometimes even laugh at oneself for those acts of silliness.

Emotion gets the better of many adults, let alone kids...

So here I was, sitting at the dining table eating my salad dinner with Renzo diagonally across me, slowly scrapping away at his bowl of rice with the spoon. A few meters away from us stood a Christmas tree that was recently taken out of the storeroom to once again be assembled and in its full glory like it was when we purchased it a year ago. 

Trying to converse with Renzo, I started asking him about his thoughts around Christmas...Bad.Choice... Renzo dropped his spoon and started to sulk. So when I gently asked him, "What's wrong?" He replied tearily, "I want my Christmas present now and I can't wait any longer." 

Just for records, just a few days before this incident, Renzo told us that he would want "Hiro" (a train from the "Thomas the Tank Engine" children's book series) for Christmas (foolish boy thought he can wiggle his way into getting 12 presents for the 12 days of Christmas.. haha)

So now that it is still a couple of weeks away from Christmas, he claims that he is sad.

I looked at him in the eye and slowly explained that there are many children around the world who might not be able to even afford to have toys, and that he should count his blessings that he has his collection and that Mummy Chan and myself have agreed to buy him his "Hiro".

He went silent for a while, digesting what I just said before he began to sulk again, "But I would really really like to have it now. And if I don't get it now, I'll be very sad. :( "

"But Christmas isn't here yet and being sad won't make Christmas come any earlier," I explained to him, hoping to finally give him my first lessons at thinking rationally, "Being sad is a choice. So why don't you choose to be happy?"

"I'm trying but it is just too hard."

With a little laugh, I put out my right hand, palm up, then finger by finger, I clenched it into a fist. Holding it for a few moments, I then opened up my fist again, finger by finger.

Renzo took shuffled glances between my hand and me.

I then asked, "Can you do this?" while expertly repeating the motion with my hand like a magician making a coin disappear. Renzo obligingly tried but as expected, couldn't do it as well.

"It is too hard for me," he complained.

"Daddy used to be like you and can't do it well, but over a period of time and with practice, you see what Daddy can do now." Renzo did nothing but just stared at his fist.

"Now Renzo, imagine that emotion is just another part of your body that you can learn to control with practice. With enough of practice and understanding of yourself, you will be able to choose when to be happy and when to be sad or angry." This time, Renzo looked back at me and through those lovely, inquisitive eye, I could see that he was gaining some enlightenment.

But my excitement was short-lived when Renzo gave a little pout and said,"It is still too hard. I think I can only be not so sad when I forget that Daddy and Mummy will be buying Hiro for me for Christmas!" and with that, he picked up his spoon and went back to scrapping at his bowl...

One small step for Daddy Chan in trying to instill rationalism into Renzo, one big step for the world in almost having one less person pushing lift buttons more than necessary =D