when all other discipline strategies fail...

I've mentioned in my previous post that Renzo has shown some signs of rebellion with frequent temper tantrums since he turned 5.5 years old. By putting down my cell phone and getting more engaged with his daily activities, I've definitely seen improvement and indeed he's doing a lot better these few weeks.

But in general, kids being kids, ya know, no matter how well behaved they are, when it comes to "homework", it's often a battle to fight just to get them sit still and follow instructions, let alone the "taking own initiative to complete homework before play" part. So I do have the same struggle with Renzo just like every other parent though he might appear to be a lot easier to handle.

For example, the only enrichment homework he has is from his piano teacher, once a week on Monday. As for childcare homework, he has it once a week too, on Friday. Did I mention in the past that I'm anti enrichment and anti assessment books outside his daily lessons at his childcare? Yes I strongly believe that his childcare teachers are imparting the necessary knowledge and value in school and as long as he pays attention in class, there's not much to be done at home. As parents we just need to provide him with a conducive environment and cultivate a good learning habit daily at home.

So, that's how lucky Renzo is, plenty of playtime and not much learning activities! Unfortunately even for that 20 minutes per week, I often need to give constant reminders and honestly, why can't he get the concept that once he gets his homework done, it's ALL playtime!!

After trying out all sorts of discipline strategies, I. Give. Up!!!

So here's what I ended up doing...

Yes I drafted out this impromptu house rules on his discipline issues that includes one "clause" on "always finish homework before playing toys or watching TV.". And I made him read aloud all the items there and signed on it while disciplining him one day last week.

He was forced to sign on it because if not, I would have punished him by leaving him at home alone with our helper, to finish his homework, while I bring his brother out to play. That, seriously scared the hell out of him!! And I made sure our "signed agreement" is placed on top of his piano, that's the most prominent spot in the house so when other parents are whipping out their canes, I make him go and re-read what he agreed with me...

As a result, he's showing a bit of improvement. In the past, I need to spend around 30 minutes every Wednesday night to prepare him for his Chinese 听写 test on Thursday. Basically my method is, without any preparation, ask him to write based on what he's learned in school, draw a circle if he doesn't know how to write certain word. And after I mark it, he will write each word for 3 times. Yes you read that right, only 3 times (even his Chinese teacher requests them to write 6 times for correction)!!

Based on my method, 1st time is for him to recognize how those strokes look like and I will explain further on any specific 偏旁or部首 that helps him to learn that word easily. For example "说" comes with 言字旁 as the meaning is to 讲话, note that both words 讲话 also come with 言字旁, and 说话 will need mouth so there's 口 and in our case, I remind him that it's often his mummy ~ me talking to my son ~ him, so there's 儿子的儿 because I am using my "mouth" to "talk" to my "son". Although this concept doesn't apply to all Chinese characters but it definitely helps. 2nd time he writes is to memorize the word, and 3rd time is really to reinforce so he can choose to stop at 2nd time if he's confident that he can get it right eventually. Then usually after he's done with all his corrections, I let him rest for a while before giving him the real mock test. Most of the time he could get it all right and the next day, he usually comes home with full marks and even neater handwriting from his actual test in school.

The whole experience sounds pretty swift and smooth isn't it?! Nope! Seeing a bunch of circles and reminding him to finish his corrections again and again isn't all that fun!

So ever since we had our "signed agreement", here's what happened. On the past Wednesday night, he came home and told me that he has prepared himself for his test next day, during some free time in school, together with his other friends. I know that his teacher encourages them to practice writing if they have time after class. But in the past he often draws instead, or just practice for the sake of practicing and still "throw circles at me" when it's my turn to prepare him at home.

But this time round, he impressed me by writing everything on his own, he made a small mistake which took him no more than 3 minutes to correct and the next day, he came home with full marks just as expected.

At the same time, he's more willing to complete his homework now and if he insists to play before doing homework, I just need to point at that piece of paper...

I gave him a great big praise for his efforts to prepare himself well for his test, and I seriously wish he could remember that very moment while he glowed with pride, and strive to achieve that each time!