put down that smartphone, parents..

When was the last time your kid called out for you, and you gave the response: "Wait, can't you see I am busy (on my phone)??!!"

I am proud to say that although my kids have pretty unlimited screen time on TV, they have absolutely ZERO interaction with smart phones, ipads, computers or internet. Being in the IT industry for more than 10 years, I jolly well understand it's a digital world now and I also think there's nothing wrong for kids to stay connected with the world via social media network. But for my 2 boys at a tender age of 5 and 2, I feel that they tend to be drawn to the quick fix entertainment that smart phones offer, from access to the internet to the many games and apps that are available for download. I don't care if the little girl sitting at the next table in a restaurant, is watching her favorite Frozen on ipad while eating her meal, or the poor little boy waiting to see doctor at clinic is showing off his advanced gaming skills with his newly downloaded ipad apps. It's just not allowed in my family. And if that's the reason why my kids are quite a handful to manage, I happily accept it. 

I am not saying all "screen" times are bad. Daddy Chan being a great gamer has benefited a lot from gaming, so he surely can agree on the fact that with the correct monitoring and control, even a video game without any educational purpose, can be good sometimes. And both of our boys learned a lot from educational DVDs which I've mentioned countless times on their blogs, so I do believe depending on kids, some times digital devices can be of great help.

But, recently I do feel guilty when my answer to the question I asked at the beginning of this post is often, "just a little while ago".. 

And indeed within the last month or two, I started to notice a behavioral change in Renzo. He seems to act up easily, and even his teacher mentioned that he's not focusing very well like before in class.  I talked to him a few times trying to figure out why but to no avail. And some quick self reflection made me believe that I am spending way too much time on my smart phone, refreshing facebook updates and chatting with friends in whatsapp groups. 

"One day, sooner than you realize, you will be with your child, wanting to talk. But she’ll be too busy. Talking to someone who isn’t there. And why not? You weren’t there when she was." What a scary wake up call!

So, it's a brand new year and I shall make some efforts to help everyone in the house spending more time with each other, these are for the parents, not the kids. Yes we the "digital parents" are in need of some better discipline:

- No phones at the table
A rule we implemented in the house recently as we didn't see the need to in the past. Face the fact, we weren't this addicted before facebook, whatspp, mobile games became so popular in recent years. We try to spend time having meals together and once we are at the dining table, no phones allowed. Immediately I notice that Renzo is able to finish his meal faster with less distractions.

- Have a phone free day
I accidentally left my phone at home during our staycation recently. I felt great not losing life memories for live updates (on social media network). The only regret was that I didn't manage to capture those wonderful life memories with my phone camera. That, could be easily solved with a DSLR camera which I've been contemplating to get for a long time. But in any case, staying away from smart phones once in a while, isn't all that bad.

- No phone after a certain time
Yes that's something I am trying to achieve. For us with busy daily work schedule, we are blessed with a great helper who can settle most of our household chores. So everyday, from the time the boys are home till their bedtime at 930pm, minus off the time needed for dinner and shower, there are at least 1 hour of time I could spend with them. So I've decided to cut down my time spent on whatsapp chat groups and stay away from my phone completely from 8pm to 930pm.

I do believe spending quality time with kids gives them a message that they are the most important to us and make them feel loved. On weekends when we have more time together, besides those routine activities like water play at the pool, grocery shopping, picnic at the park with his cousins, Renzo has also been much more involved with other fun stuff at home, such as blending juice, baking bread, making salad, etc. Such bonding activities allow him to contribute to the household, at the same time, be more independent by learning new life skills.

Put down your digital devices parents!! Kids pick up habits and learn values from a lot of sources. Their teachers, friends, siblings, anyone around them. But do you know that 95% of the physical time they spend during their formative years is with...their parents. Experts agree that parents establish the values in a family unit from the moment that baby arrives home from the hospital.  

So if parent is curious about, “What's happening to my family values?” maybe we should be prepared to open a frank conversation with ourselves about how our actions, as parents, are shaping answers to that question. And who knows, maybe the answer is right under your nose all this while - we might be physically around with our kids, but we spend too much time texting than talking, surfing than parenting in this modern society.

For the fact that I don't want my kids and husband to think they are not as interesting as a text messages, or Facebook posts to me, I shall now make my 2015 new year resolution, to put down my phone, sit down and have fun with my kids..